That’s right EA, the cat’s finally out of the bag , and I’m straight up accusing TSTO of feline discrimination and canine favoritism.
I know, I know, many of you might think I am being some sort of liberal-reactionary-environmentalist-no-good-cat lover, and you might just be be right. But this has nothing (well almost nothing) to do with it. The facts clearly speak for themselves.
Allow me to present Exhibit A: Here is a list of all of 30+ animals in the game (I know, it surprised me too!):
Santas Little Helper, Frink’s Robot Dog, Moe’s Panda, Arnie Pye’s Newshound, Mr. Teeny, The killer whale in Krustyland, The dogs @ Springfield Downs x 5, Tatum’s tiger, Raven Bart, Blinky, Rev Lovejoy’s Dog, Burns’ Hounds x 3, Burns’ Bat and Vulture, Krusty’s Chimp Teeny, Lumpy the Snake, Whacky the Snake, Nelson’s Raccoon, Church’s Dove, Grandpa/Agnes’ Pigeons x 3 = 6, Reindeer (they are variable), The Clawed Zombie, and K9
Of those 30+ animals, 13 (nearly half!) are dogs!
Exhibit B: Only one single (redundant I know) animal out of thirty has any resemblance to a cat. And not just any cat – but a dead, putrid, zombie cat – the last minority group everyone still thinks they can pick on without being shamed by the pubic-at-large.
Exhibit C: Santa’s little helper, while a fine upstanding canine, is represented in both balloon and NPC form. While Snowball, also a valued member of the Simpson family, is only a balloon.
And finally, Exhibit D:
The one character that
has been requested over and over since nearly the very beginning, but has never made an appearance even though she could be voiced, is the Crazy Cat Lady….that’s right, CAT
is her middle name! And I won’t even go into the cruel defamation she has had to endure along with the mental anguish she experiences everyday just because she happens to care for the cute and cuddly feline.
So there you have it. The cat is now fully out of the bag EA – you need to rectify this injustice before the entire weight of the You Tube loving cat video world comes crashing down upon your heads. May Bastet (the Egyptian goddess of cats) have mercy on your souls.
What about you fellow Tappers – are you as pretend outraged as I am? Is enough, enough? Tell EA to stop it’s underhanded practices and give us our beloved Snowball (whichever version they see fit to bestow upon us) and our heroine, the Mentally Challenged Feline Lady – maybe as an early Xmas present? And while you’re at it – what other animals/pets would you like to see in the game?