While we were all anticipating the arrival of the Valentine’s Day update, the developers decided to sneak in a quick quest line to celebrate the American sports tradition, the Super Bowl. When your log-in, after the game downloads some new files, you’ll be prompted with a dialogue exchange between Homer and Lisa. The quest “Stupor Bowl Weekend” starts off once this dialogue exchanges completes. So free up those charters if you want to get started.
This update also brings back the Duff Party Bus, though for the price of 50 donuts. This was the same price it was offered during the Season 24 Yard Sale. So if you missed out, now is your second chance to add this exclusive decoration to your town. It comes with 2.25% bonus money and XP to all Jobs.
Another bonus! The Duff Racer can be purchased for $250,000 for a limited-time as well. This is the very first exclusive item ever added to the game, so to see it re-released is a real treat.
Stupor Bowl Pt. 1
||Go on a Beer Run
||Investigate Super Bowl Financials
Homer: Lisa, come in there and pray with Daddy.
Lisa: Pray? Oh no! Dad, are you dying?
Homer: With my lifestyle? Probably. But that’s not why I’m praying. I’m praying because it’s almost Sunday… Super Bowl Sunday!
Homer: I just want the game to go off without any lockouts, blackouts, or Sum of All Fears-esque nuclear attacks.
Lisa: But all of those problems are completely avoidable or fictional. They’re just created by players, owners, and TV stations to make more money.
Lisa: In fact, when you think about it, the whole Super Bowl seems about making money.
Homer: Shut your blasphemous mouth! God loves football. How dare you question God! Now get me another beer.
Lisa: You’re out of beer.
Homer: WHY, GOD? WHY?
(after the task is complete)
Homer: Okay Lisa, put down those financial magazine and help me carry this stuff to the car. I got two cases of Duff, and three cases of Duff Lite!
Lisa: That’s a lot of beer. Are you having a Super Bowl party?
Homer: Ooh, that’s a good idea! Apu, get me another four cases of each.
Homer: Also, that barrel of Duff-flavored cheese blurgs and this industrial-sized tub of Duff-brand chicken swangs.
Lisa: Cheese blurgs and chicken swangs? Is that even food?
Apu: Of course. They’re made from all-natural cardboard and organic liposuction waste.
Homer: Mmmmm… rich lady fat.
Stupor Bowl Pt. 2
||Crunch the Numbers
||Crunch Duff Warm Ranch Chips
Lisa: This just doesn’t add up – Super Bowl tickets are expensive, but don’t cover team salaries.
Lisa: The ads cost a fortune, but are miniscule compared to the licensing deal. And surplus revenue falls way short of operating costs.
Homer: What are you talking about?
Lisa: This Super Bowl is generating billions of dollars, yet somehow no one’s making money from it.
Homer: What about FOX? FOX wouldn’t run something year after year if it wasn’t making them money.
Lisa: So you’d think, but I’m not seeing it. Maybe I missed something in these balance sheets.
Homer: Awww, kids and their balance sheets.
Homer: Now, as the consummate hose, I must taste the snacks to ensure the highest quality of food for my guests.
Stupor Bowl Pt. 3
||Drink Duff Beer
||Request Subpoenas of NFL Tax Documents
Homer: Lisa, help! The seagulls are back — they think I’m a beached whale. And they’re not the only ones…
Sea Captain: Yarr, not a drip of ambergris on him.
Lisa: Dad, did you eat all the party snacks and pass out on the floor?
Homer: Judging me isn’t going to get rid of these gulls.
Lisa: Please Dad, I’m still busy tracking the Super Bowl profit stream from media ad sales through to player’s salaries.
Homer: Can you re-describe that as a famous movie quote?
Lisa: I’m following the money.
Homer: Hmm, I haven’t seen “All The President’s Men.” I’ll have to take your word for it.
Lisa: Why don’t you get up and take a shower? It smells like the sea in here, and it’s not coming from the gulls.
Homer: Probably because of all the salt I ate. Don’t worry — I know how to fix that.