Day 9 of 35
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A blog dedicated to the popular mobile game, The Simpsons: Tapped Out
The first content update added four new buildings and four new characters to the game: Kearney, Martin, Nelson, and Otto. Coincidentally, all of the characters added in at Level 21 have the ability to travel to Krustyland. Two of these characters costs donuts to unlock, Kearney being one of them. Should you choose to purchase this character for 60 donuts, here is the quest line you will receive.
Kearney: Hey Simpson! Gimme your lunch money or I’ll break every bone in your body!
Bart: Sorry, I spent all my cash on houses and decorations.
Kearney: But I’m hungry… and mean. Maybe you and your friend could steal me some food from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Milhouse: But… stealing is stealing!
Kearney: Like it says in the Bible: “it’s only stealing if you get caught.”
Kearney: Nelson! How come you’re spending so much extra time at school? Have you gone soft?
Nelson: Sadly, even if I WANTED to go soft, I’ve forgotten how. It’s the price of bully-dom.
Kearney: Good! Let’s get down to business! Since you’ve already got detention into the next millennium, there’s no point me getting my hands dirty. I’ll create a diversion while you beat some lunch money out of geeks!
Kearney: Simpson, you’re all right! You remind me of my son — he’s just about your age!
Kearney: Hey Bart! I found a buch of rancid coleslaw in the dumpster behind Krusty Burger. Let’s go heave it at that dweeb Milhouse’s house!
Bart: But Milhouse is my friend.
Kearney: So? We bullies trash each other’s stuff all the time. Wait — do nice people have a different understanding of friendship than us super-jerks?
Kearney: Bullying is no picnic. Some days I almost wish I was a weakling. It’d be nice to let somebody else do the pummeling for a change, you know? Man, I need a drink.