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A blog dedicated to the popular mobile game, The Simpsons: Tapped Out


The first content update added four new buildings and four new characters to the game: Kearney, Martin, Nelson, and Otto. Coincidentally, all of the characters added in at Level 21 have the ability to travel to Krustyland. Two of these characters costs donuts to unlock, Kearney being one of them. Should you choose to purchase this character for 60 donuts, here is the quest line you will receive.

A Victimless Crime

Make Bart Shoplift from the Kwik-E-Mart

Make Milhouse Shoplift from the Kwik-E-Mart


Kearney: Hey Simpson! Gimme your lunch money or I’ll break every bone in your body!
Bart: Sorry, I spent all my cash on houses and decorations.
Kearney: But I’m hungry… and mean. Maybe you and your friend could steal me some food from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Milhouse: But… stealing is stealing!
Kearney: Like it says in the Bible: “it’s only stealing if you get caught.”

Bullies On Parade

Make Kearny Dance a Jig

Make Nelson Shake Down Kids For Lunch Money

4h / 4h

Kearney: Nelson! How come you’re spending so much extra time at school? Have you gone soft?
Nelson: Sadly, even if I WANTED to go soft, I’ve forgotten how. It’s the price of bully-dom.
Kearney: Good! Let’s get down to business! Since you’ve already got detention into the next millennium, there’s no point me getting my hands dirty. I’ll create a diversion while you beat some lunch money out of geeks!

Parental Priorities

Make Kearny Take Son for the Night


Kearney: Simpson, you’re all right! You remind me of my son — he’s just about your age!‎

Breaking the Slaw

Make Kearny Dump Spoiled Coleslaw in Van Houten House


Kearney: Hey Bart! I found a buch of rancid coleslaw in the dumpster behind Krusty Burger. Let’s go heave it at that dweeb Milhouse’s house!
Bart: But Milhouse is my friend.
Kearney: So? We bullies trash each other’s stuff all the time. Wait — do nice people have a different understanding of friendship than us super-jerks?

Just How Old Are You

Make Kearny Drink at Moe’s


Kearney: Bullying is no picnic. Some days I almost wish I was a weakling. It’d be nice to let somebody else do the pummeling for a change, you know? Man, I need a drink.

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4 Responses to Kearney

  1. melsAugust 26, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Why does Kearney dance a jig? Sorry I don’t understanding somethings cost I don’t watch the show.

  2. jouk83August 25, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Hi, how can I contact you ? I found that your blog is the best since the collapsing of TSTOtips.

  3. ChaffroAugust 25, 2013 at 6:07 am

    I have Kearney. Despite his quite one-dimensional traits in the cartoon, I find him a surprisingly versatile character in the game, especially what with quests in Springfield and Krustyland.

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