The quest to question and ignore many of the crimes being committed in Springfield continues. Will the long-arm of the law ever catch-up to this criminals, or will the (mostly) law-abiding citizens of Springfield be have to pay the price for the misdemeanors? Stay tuned for the next part of this quest line which will be posted very shortly.
Unusual Suspects Pt. 4
Make Snake Con Money from Old People
Wiggum: Well, well, well. If it isn’t our old pal Snake, aka Jailbird. Or Jailbird, aka Snake. Search him, Eddie!
Wiggum: Got a stack of papers on you, huh, Snake? What are they, rolling papers, or contracts to take out hits?
Snake: Dude, no. They’re just blank insurance policies.
Snake: I’m a legitimate life insurance salesman now.
Wiggum: I’ve never been able pass a life insurance physical. I’ve got a touch of diabetes. And gout.
Wiggum: Oh, and I’m a policeman who’s been shot five times. All right, on your way!
Snake: Later, Dude.
Snake: Excuse me, old man… I can get you a primo deal on a life insurance policy.
Snake: Just write, “Snake,” on that beneficiary line and I’ll make sure your family gets the money.
Unusual Suspects Pt. 5
Make Lou Interview Suspects
Wiggum: Nice job hitting your arrest numbers, boys.
Wiggum: I love quotas — keeping the city safe by hitting meaningless statistical targets.
Lou: If it’s all the same, Chief, I’d like to follow up on some old witness reports. I think some of these cases are low-hanging fruit.
Wiggum: Oh, don’t you love when it hangs low? You don’t have to get up on your tippy-toes, or raise your arms. God I hate raising my arms.
Springfield Confidential Pt. 1
Make Fat Tony Get Rid of a Problem
Make Legs Sell Smuggled Goods
Make Louie Perform a Hit
Fat Tony: Chief Wiggum, I congratulate you on your exemplary work keeping petty crimes in check.
Wiggum: Thank you, Fat Tony.
Wiggum: Now you don’t have any unpaid traffic tickets, illegal fireworks, or anything of that kind I need to look into, do you?
Fat Tony: Absolutely not. All my crimes are of an unpetty nature.
Fat Tony: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things that need trafficking.
Wiggum: Oh, sure. Everybody’s got important things to do. Me, I’ve gotta to mail back Sarah’s Zappos shoes.
Continues with Crackdown Pt. 1 – 5