Day 9 of 35
-- event ends on Nov 7th!
- 361,915 hits
Follow me on TwitterMy Tweets
A blog dedicated to the popular mobile game, The Simpsons: Tapped Out
Once you build the Krustyland Shuttle ($50,000) in Springfield, you will have the option of traveling to Krustyland. Krustyland is a brand new map for the game. This new area is just like Springfield at the start of the game, as it needs a lot of work to flourish once again. There are 100 plots of land available, and you begin with two for free. Unlike Springfield, these land expansions must be purchased with tickets instead of dollars.
Krusty: Ugh. Can someone tell me why the same dogs run every race at our track?
Krusty: And why, given that, a TV clown would blow his entire fortune betting on said races?
Lisa: Krusty? You’re Broke?
Krusty: No, broke means you have zero. I am millions in debt. If I was only broke, I’d be the richest jerk on earth.
Bart: Why don’t you just re-open Krustyland and make your money back?
Krusty: Krustyland is a mess. They never tell you how expensive the “maintenance” The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. of a theme park is.
Krusty: Or how when you don’t pay “maintenance,” and one ride topples onto another ride and careens into a crowded midway, it can also be expensive.
Bart: Then again, rebuilding Krustyland would be a great way to kill time, and keep people from focusing on more important tasks like work and school.
Krusty: Anything I can do to harm America’s productivity. Let’s do it!
Krusty: Isn’t Krustyland way out of town? How will we get there?
Krusty: Leave that to me! By which I mean, the Sky Finger. Get to it, chump!
Krusty: Aww, the old Krustyland is a dump! Where am I going to find a schmuck fakakta big enough schmuck to fix this mess?
Homer: Ooh, Yiddish — that often leads to Latkes
Krusty: Hey, hey! Welcome to Krustyland!
Krusty: Step right up to our newest attraction: Grab That Girder Over There and Drag It, Then Every Other Girder, to Somewhere the Truck Can Get to Them More Easily!
Homer: Long name. Sounds fun!
Homer: I gotta say, Krusty, the girder-dragging ride at Disneyland is better.
Homer: And why reward me with these stupid tickets? A guy like me is used to getting paid in cold, hard pretend money.
Krusty: Those are Krustyland Tickets! They’re like money but more… fun! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!
Krusty: Also, you’re going to need those tickets to rebuild the Krustyland Entrance. So hand ‘em over!
Krusty: The harder it is for people to find their way around a theme park, the less time they spend on its fragile, deadly rides.
Krusty: I need a boneheaded, twisting, counterintuitive layout for this place. Where’s that guy from before.
Homer: Hi, Mr. The Klown — I’m that guy from before. I want to once again lodge a complaint about being paid in your personal scrip instead of money.
Krusty: And I look forward to that conversation. Right after you try our latest attraction: Build A Path!
Homer: You know, this theme park is starting to feel a lot like work.
Krusty: But, if I may finish that thought, it’s all worth it when you get your payout of Krustyland Tickets.
Homer: Is that how that thought finishes? Well, I guess I can’t tell my thoughts what to think. Okay, what’s next?
Krusty: Now comes the imporant stuff.
Krusty: The rides are just a way to bring customers — or, as we call them in the industry, “Fat Dummies Deserving of What They Get” — into the park.
Homer: I didn’t know we had a nickname! Pretty sweet.
Krusty: But it’s the rigged, unwinnable midway games where you make the real dough.
Krusty: Okay, Homer, are you ready to run the Ring Toss stall?
Homer: Run it? But I want to play!
Krusty: Don’t waste your time… the rings aren’t big enough to land on any of the prizes.
Homer: Looks easy enough. Just watch. *clink* Whoops. Okay, just one more. *clink*
Homer: One more. *clink* One more…
Krusty: Ugh. Looks like I’m going to need someone else to run the stall.
Message: Cletus and Sideshow Mel will now appear in Krustyland when they’re not doing jobs in Springfield!
Message: Bart, Lisa, and Kearney will now appear in Krustyland when they’re not doing jobs in Springfield!
Bart: Krusty, you haven’t rebuilt my favorite ride yet. Where’s the infamous Death Drop?
Bart: You didn’t shut it down just because of one tiny little class action lawsuit filed by five thousand hospitalized children?
Lisa: Ugh. Maybe that one’s better left unbuilt.
Krusty: Actually, it’s was our safest ride.
Continues with The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 8 – 14